Crash Coarse Parenting
by Iteria
Summary: New Summary Everyone's hungry so where do they go to eat? Burger World, of coarse. Watch as Ryou, Yugi, and Malik drive the two yamis insane. ch3 up
1. Default Chapter

**Iteria:** Hey peeps! This is my first fic so be nice. If people like this I'll continue. Deal? Okay now I'd like to introdunce my muse, Malik, in his new school clothes of coarse.  
**Malik:** *gumbles*  
**Iteria:** My friend Cordae will explain what he's wearing since she thought it up.  
**Cordae:** Thank you. Malik is wearing a pair of baggy black with read stitching jean shorts with a leather belt so that I don't have to see where the lord split him.  
**Malik:** I'm just as happy as you are about it.  
**Cordae:** Malik is also modeling a black and red sleeveless jersey with the number "87" (his birthyear) on it. Also I got rid of his normal jewlery and replaced it with two silver chains and a pair of less noticable studded earrings. There was nothing I could do with the hair, at least without cutting it, but Iteria would have killed me if I did that.  
**Iteria:** Darn right. Now Malik do the Discliamer.  
**Malik:** Iteria doesn't own Yu-gi-oh (Thank Ra) Kuzuki Takahashi does, she just kidnaps us for a few hours. HELP! WE'RE HERE! SHE'S GOT US HOSTAGE HERE! HEL-*gets hit over head with frying pan*  
**Iteria:** *Bounces frying pan up and down in hand* That's enough out of you.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Bakura sat Indian-style on the floor enduring the most horrible thing to ever befall him, two three-year-olds by the names of Ryou and Malik. Anyone who knew Bakura would instantly know that he had brought it upon himself, which he did. But in Bakura's very special mind this was all the fault of the dark-skinned three-year-old currently struggling fruitlessly to break free of his grasp. In his mind, if Malik had not told him not to touch anything, then he wouldn't have stolen that book and accidentally set off that spell. Yes, all was justified in the mind of Bakura, which is why he couldn't comprehend why he was stuck baby-sitting. To Bakura's extreme relief it would all be over in a mere twenty-four hours, or at least that's what Isis, Malik's sister, had told him, among other things, most of which he hadn't paid any attention to.   
  
Bakura looked back towards his light who was cowering behind him, obviously frightened by Malik's violent jerking as he tried to free himself. Bakura didn't know whether to be ashamed or happy that he didn't have to deal with him. In the end he decided to be ashamed at Ryou's actions and growled as he turned away from the small silver-haired child who jumped in response to the low-pitched noise.   
  
Bakura ignored Ryou and concentrated on holding his current position until either Malik tired himself out or the spell wore off, whichever came first. Twenty minutes later, Malik stopped trying to free himself and resigned himself to pouting and angrily kicking Bakura every few seconds. Although annoying, it was a step up from before. Bakura was just starting to think that today wouldn't be as hellish as he had first thought. Then the doorbell rang.  
  
The silver-haired yami refrained from cursing (aloud) and stood up releasing his hold over Malik. The toddler instantly took his leave, going to do Ra-knows-what to Ryou's house, not to mention the many expensive and irreplaceable items.   
  
Bakura stretched and when he finished he noticed a strange weight to his right leg. Looking down, he saw a mass of white hair clanging to his leg. The yami simply ignore Ryou's presence to deal with more important things, like that bell, which was driving him insane with its obsessive ranging.  
  
He walked towards the door and flung it open only to see the only person who could make his day worst than it was already becoming: Yami. He also noticed a small bubbly child standing energetically next Yami or "The Pharaoh" as Bakura called him, who could only be little Yugi. Bakura made a quick mental note to inform Malik when this was all over that Yugi's hair was indeed natural  
  
"Why are you here Pharaoh?" He questioned in the tone that he always used with Yami, but the phrase didn't have the same effect and sounded forced.  
  
Yami paid no heed of it and replied as if he'd used his normal "Why the hell are you here, Pharaoh?", "You think I'd trust you with the care of a child?" he said pushing pass Bakura as Yugi ran pass him excitedly. Yami made no attempt to chase after him.  
  
Bakura slammed the door shut and walked or rather limped towards Yami who was admiring some of the artwork hanging on the walls. Ryou's dead weight was just started to tired out Bakura's leg. Annoyed he kicked his leg around wildly until Ryou fell off and landed on his bottom.  
  
The small boy looked up with his chocolate eyes, sniffling. Bakura for one had never seem anything like his before and curiously got closer to the pale child whose eyes seems to ripple as he sniffled.  
  
"Bakura, I wou-" Yami said, but was cut off by Bakura  
  
"Quiet Pharaoh!" He said harshly and continued to explore his light's curious behavior. Bakura was less than six inches away from Ryou's face when IT happened. Loud shrieking filled the room and a river of clear liquid traveled Ryou's face and fell to the ground.   
  
The two yamis covered their ears, "How can a noise that loud come from such a small child?" Yami half-yelled.  
  
Bakura ignored Yami and starting of a way any way to stopped the crying. _"Think. Think!"_ He kept repeating to himself, but the process was made difficult by his splitting headache, which was getting increasingly worst. He noticed something moving behind him. Turning he saw Yami with… Yugi? The little boy's tri-colored hair stood up on end making him look like a clothed troll doll.   
  
Yami said something to Yugi whose face mirrored that of Ryou's just moments before. The silver-haired Yami grew frantic, "What are you doing? Are you crazy?"  
  
Yami ignored Bakura and continued to talk to Yugi whose face suddenly became determined as he ran towards Ryou and dragged the shocked child away and stopping the crying.   
  
After Bakura's ears stopped ringing he said, "What exactly did you tell him?"  
  
Yami was on the floor obviously relieved the crying had stopped. He smirked before he answered, " I never told Yugi why we came here, so I went and found him and told him that…" Yami's smirk turned into a smile, "Ryou's father invited us here to play with Ryou and Ryou was crying because he thinks Yugi doesn't want to be his friend."  
  
"Figures. Even at the age of three, Yugi tries to be friends with everyone." Bakura said dryly. He then looked at Yami who was still smiling. Bakura raised one of his eyebrows in suspicion, "What are you smiling about?" He asked. Yami said nothing and kept grinning. Bakura ran over what Yami had said before and realized what Yami said, "Wait you don't mean that-"  
  
"Wait!" Yami cut Bakura off, his face turning serious.  
  
"Don't te-"  
  
"Shh!" Yami cut Bakura off once again, "Listen." he said.  
  
"I don't hear anything," Bakura said annoyed.   
  
"Exactly!" Yami said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" He said now that he was free to curse.  
  
"If I learned anything last night after your foolhardy blunder," He took the liberty to glare at Bakura, "It's that silence is almost never good."   
  
"That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard." Bakura stated.  
  
"Fine don't believe me," Yami said and despite the childishness of the phrase he sounded completely regal as usual, "But I wonder how Ryou is going to explain it to his father if anything gets broken. I don't think you just walk in to any store and buy half-a-century-old artifacts."  
  
Bakura said nothing, but he did glare and grudgingly follow Yami upstairs.  
  
"I hear laughter," Yami said, "They must be in in there."  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Obvious." Bakura said sarcastically, "This is Ryou's room." He added opening the door.  
  
"Or at least what's left of Ryou's room…" Yami said amazing at the state of the room. Posters were torn from the wall, drawers hanging from dressers, clothes everywhere. And to top it all off in the middle of the two twin beds opposite of each other sat what seemed to be every sharp object in the room, ranging from pencils to an up-turned chair and the three toddlers were actually _jumping_ over the death trap.  
  
"Yam-Yam!" Yugi exclaimed, "Come play!"   
  
"Yam- Yam?" Bakura questioned as Yami watched nervously as Yugi- bounced back and forth.   
  
Bakura was quickly quieted though when Ryou exclaimed, "Baku-chan! You come play too."  
  
"You all come down from there," Yami ordered.  
  
"No!" Malik shouted, which was chorused by the others soon afterward.  
  
"Yugi, get down from there." Yami said getting desperate.  
  
"Why?" Yugi said mid-jump.  
  
"Because you could get hurt," He said and as if he had tempted fate Malik pushed Yugi as he tried to jump. The good news is that Yugi was completely unharmed. The bad news is that Yugi landed on top of Yami who landed on top of the up-turned chair trying to save Yugi.  
  
"Idiot." Bakura said looked down on Yami.   
  
Yami slowly got up. Grabbing Yugi and moving away from the bed, he said, "You do better."  
  
Bakura smirked and gracefully plucked Ryou from the bed. Setting him down he looked triumphantly at Yami as Ryou walked over to where Yugi was. This was big mistake. Malik jumped off the bed straight towards Bakura. Before Bakura had anytime to react, Malik's arms were latched firmly around Bakura throat and his weight was choking Bakura.   
  
From Yami's point of view it was hard to tell whether Malik was purposely choking Bakura or if Malik just didn't want to fall to the ground. Either way it was pretty funny to Yami and he was having a hard time holding back his laughter as Bakura flailed about trying to get Malik off him.  
  
Of coarse just as Bakura could never enjoy Yami's pain for long, Yami could never enjoy Bakura's for long either. This time, Ryou burst his bubble. "Yam-Yam?" He said meekly, "Help Baku-chan." The great King of Games had fallen prey to the Ryou's deadly puppy dog eyes. How could he fight something like that? He couldn't, and thus he got up to help the tomb robber in distress.   
  
Sighing he walked up to Bakura who was still flailing about. "Stay still." he said.  
  
"You try staying still with this kid choking you." He growled and stopped moving; Although he clasped his hands around Malik's arms so the choking wouldn't get worst.  
  
Yami tickled Malik who squealed and wiggling about until he finally let go of Bakura's neck.  
  
Bakura grasped his neck and breathed heavily.  
  
"Truce?" Yami asked.  
  
"Truce."  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Iteria:** That's all everybody. Please R&R. Oh! Would anyone care to be my BETA reader. I don't write much (about 4 pages a chapter), so you wouldn't be doing much work. Do I have to beg in Japanese?  
**Cordae:** Couldn't hurt.  
**Iteria:**Donata wa watashi no BETA reader wo deshou ka, Kudasai? There. I have begged in two languages do I need to add a third?  
**Cordae:** Two should be enough, plus your French accent is horrible.  



	2. Wrestling and the bet

**Iteria:** Gomen, I didn't mean for this to be late, but school started and already I have tons of homework. That and I didn't have access to my computer until now. You guys enjoy the fic, while I do homework *grumbles and gets to work*  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bakura finally caught his breath. Yami turned around and opened his mouth to speak to Ryou and Yugi, but found they weren't there. Looking around, he noticed that Malik too was gone. The two yamis went on a frantic search throughout the house. Well, Yami was fanatically searching and Bakura was casually strolling through the house. But in any event they were both trying to locate the missing children.  
  
"Did you find them?" Yami asked.  
  
"No." Bakura said completely calm.  
  
"How can you be so calm?!" Yami yelled, "Our lights are missing and three-years-old!"  
  
Bakura shrugged. "They're not missing, just outside," he motioned toward the door, which was wide-open, "In Ryou's boring-nothing-ever-happens neighborhood, what's the worst that could happen?" Yami rushed out the door.  
  
"Yugi!" He shouted.  
  
"Shh Yam-Yam! We're playing hide and seek." Yugi said from behind a tree.  
  
At first Yami was relieved, and then confusion crossed his face. A three-year-old shouldn't be able to form a sentence that advanced.   
  
Bakura finally walked outside. "See no harm done." He said, the words sounding odd as they escaped his mouth. He was actually being _pleasant_ and to _Yami_ of all people…er…spirits  
  
Yami for the most part hadn't listened. He was busy trying to convince himself that he was not crazy. "Bakura," Yami said purposely avoiding "Tomb robber", "Did Isis say anything else about the spell besides that it wears off in twenty-four hours."  
  
"No." Bakura said and then he remembered something…  
  


_FLASHBACK_

  
"Pay attention." Isis said sternly. Bakura grumbled. "You have brought this upon yourself." She said addressing Bakura as if he were a child, "Now you WILL take care of Ryou and my brother and they WILL be unharmed when I get back from my convention in Egypt, or ELSE!" she threatened and yet somehow refrained from raising her voice.  
  
"Or else what?" Bakura grumbled  
  
"Need I remind you that I am a part of the Ishtar Clan?" Isis said dangerously, " The spell will wear off in twenty-four hours. Tomorrow Malik, Yugi, and Ryou should hit ages five, eight, eleven, and fourteen during the coarse of tomorrow before they return to normal. Keep in mind that they will take on the personalities they had when they were that age, so advise the pharaoh to keep his distance from Malik when he hits his teens." With that Isis stepped into her car, and then gave Bakura one last look before driving off.  
  


END FLASHBACK 

  
Bakura then informed Yami of the rest of the effects of the spell, and yet neglected to tell him about Isis's little warning, but to be fair he had mention the personality stuff. Yami seemed relieved to know that he wasn't seeing things. He didn't even insult Bakura.  
  
"Ryou, Yugi, and Malik! Come here now!" Bakura bellowed. The now five-year-olds did as they were told. (Although they keep their distance from Bakura) "Stay here I'll be right back." Bakura said in a normal tone of voice, leaving everyone including Yami to wonder what he was up to.  
  
"Yam-Yam?" Yugi said pulling Yami's arm.  
  
"Yes Yugi, and please call me Yami." He said.  
  
"Okay Yam-Yam." He said, "What is Baku-chan doing?"  
  
"I don't know." Yami said exasperated.  
  
Bakura soon returned with a bag. "Do you know what's in this bag?" Bakura taunted, dangling the bag over their heads. The three children shook their heads. "This," he opened the bag, "Is candy." he said showing the children a piece he had taken out of the bag. Yami cocked an eyebrow. What was Bakura thinking?  
  
"Candy…" Yugi, and Ryou's eyes lit up at the sight of the papered sugar, Malik's face, however; held a look of confusion.   
  
"Candy?" he questioned.  
  
"You really never had a childhood, did you Ishtar?" Bakura muttered. Even he as a child had had something akin to today's sweets. "Malik, candy is a treat that children get from time to time." Bakura said trying his best to describe exactly what candy was.  
  
"Can we have a piece, Baku-chan?" Ryou asked while Malik was still puzzling over what candy was.  
  
"You can have the whole bag," Yugi and Ryou lunged for the bag only to miss it and fall to the ground, "Ah. Ah." Bakura waved his finger, " First we're going to play a game." Bakura said smiling warmly, only it came out as an evil grin.  
  
The word "game" was a cause for alarm for Yami. Any game that involved Bakura couldn't be good. He grabbed Bakura and pulled him into the house, which given the two's height and weight difference was a pretty impressive feat.   
  
"Just what type of "game" exactly are you going to play with three _five-year-olds?"_ he said.  
  
"Give me some credit Pharaoh." Bakura scoffed, "I'm not going to play a shadow game with children. Just a competition for candy." Bakura walked back towards the door. Yami followed, still suspicious.  
  
Bakura reached the door and was greeted, by three eager children. Apparently Ryou and Yugi had taken some time to explain the wonders of candy as Malik's eyes were transfixed on Bakura's bag.  
  
Yugi was the first to speak, "What game do we have to play Baku-chan?" he said energetically.  
  
"We're going to have a little wrestling competition." Bakura stated.  
  
"Wrestling?" Ryou and Yugi said questioningly.  
  
"Wrestling is a competition in which in the goal is keep your opponent on the ground for ten seconds or push them out bounds," Malik knowingly, although how he knew was a mystery in itself.  
  
After Bakura recovered from his initial shock, he informed Malik that he was indeed correct. But of coarse this game was completely unacceptable to Yami. He never liked to see Yugi in a situation in which there was any possibility that he might be hurt. He voiced his disapproval immediately.  
  
Bakura, who was prepared for everything, was also prepared for this. The pharaoh was not going to ruin his fun. "Well you heard Yam-Yam," Bakura said in a mock-disappointed voice, "No one can have any candy or play my very fun game."  
  
A series of groans escaped the children's mouths along with a couple of "Meanie." and "No fair". Yami refused to rebuke his decision unfortunately for Yami; soon he wouldn't have a choice.   
  
Malik, being the boldest of the three was the first to go on the attack, doing an impressive pout followed by a temper-tantrum. Ryou, who really was a temperate child, opted for puppy dog eyes instead. Yugi did him one better and along with the puppy dog eyes he also kept repeating the word "Please" in a sugary sweet voice. Yami's will power weakening, but he was barely hanging on, that is, until Malik gave up the temper-tantrum and outdid both Ryou and Yugi. Malik did the always-feared watery-puppy dog eyes complete with sugary sweet repetitions of the word "Please". (Those of you who have never seen a pic of ten-year-old Malik. it can be found at _website_here_ KAWAII!) Needless to Yami folded like a piece of paper soon afterward.  
  
Bakura cackled as he walked past Yami with Ryou, Malik, and Yugi following behind.  
  
**  
  
Outside in Ryou's backyard, the lawn was perfectly cut and green. Everything about the backyard was perfect, well, except for the shallow circular ditch that Bakura had obviously dug when he had gone inside as impossible as it seemed. To the side of the circular ditch, which was to serve as the ring, were two chairs. Yami took a look a seat and childishly looked on over the entire scene.  
  
"Okay" Bakura said as though he were an announcer, "Yugi and Ryou will start us off." Ryou and Yugi stepped uncertainly into the "ring". "Now remember the rules." Bakura said taking a seat in the lawn chair next to Yami, "The first person to push the other out of the ring or gets the other to stay on the ground for ten seconds gets to go against Malik and the winner of that round gets this." Bakura raised up the bag of candy and in an instant Ryou and Yugi started the match.  
  
Bakura face held the biggest smile since… Well ever. He didn't know what he liked more, the fact that Ryou was beating Yugi and in fact would win in two seconds by his watch or Yami's horrified face as he watched his light.   
  
"Ryou wins." Bakura announced. Ryou got off Yugi who was more or less unharmed although he did have some severe grass stains on his clothes. Bakura felt something well up inside of him. Was this… Yes, he was actually proud of Ryou. He almost hugged Ryou, but he caught himself before he started and announced the next match while Yami fondled over Yugi.  
  
The match between Malik and Ryou was so incredible short that if you blinked you missed it. Malik expertly clipped and tossed Ryou out of ring. Bakura could only stare bug-eyed, while Yami thanked Ra that that wasn't Yugi. Amazingly enough Ryou was no for the wear if you didn't count that he was a little out of breath for a bit   
  
Bakura still shocked handed Malik the bag of candy. Yami then immediately dragged him off, probably to argue about Bakura's little contest, not that this bother any of the kindergartners. Ryou and Yugi were currently begging for candy, while Malik was slowly but surely breaking.   
  
Eventually Malik cracked and split his candy with Ryou and Yugi who instantly started ravaging the sweets. Malik only placed one piece in his mouth after he saw that Yugi and Ryou weren't dying a slow and horrible death. Malik's eyes lit up, similar to Ryou and Yugi's a while back, and then he began stuffing the candy into his face as fast as he could get the paper off.  
  
**   
Bakura and Yami walked back within earshot of the three kindergartners, both of them looking thoroughly peeved.  
  
"Yam-Yam!"   
  
"Baku-chan!"  
  
Yami and Bakura were glomped by their respective lights.   
  
Malik was bouncing around yard shouting random things in a language that no one understood. He ran towards Ryou and Yugi who had gotten off their yamis.  
  
"Play!" They shouted at once dragging the Yamis towards the house.  
  
**  
  
Yami fell out on the floor; the carpet was amazingly comfortable. He never wanted to play another game again. Yugi, Ryou, and Malik had he and Bakura play over two dozen games within a one-hour period.   
  
"Shh!" Bakura said in response noise, "Don't wake the little monsters up, especially that light of yours."  
  
"You're one to talk. Ryou is far worst than Yugi. You can't even control him." Yami said.  
  
"Oh and you think you can do better?" Bakura challenged and Yami was never one to pass up a challenge.  
  
"With all the problems you created for the boy, he definitely be better off with me as his guardian than he ever was with you." Yami scoffed.  
  
"Oh and you did such a wonderful job with Yugi. He only has fifteen or so mental scars." Bakura said haughtily.  
  
Both Yami got up from their sitting positions and glared at each other face to face. "Then it's a done deal." Bakura said lowly. Somehow the glaring had resulted into a contract of some kind. (A/N: sadly enough I've actually seen something like this take place)  
  
"Yes, but it's no fun if there's not a prize." Yami said taking on his usual demeanor and trademark smirk.  
  
Bakura thought for a minute, and then came up with a solution. "Winner waits on the loser hand and foot for a week."  
  
"Deal." Yami said and although it was common to shake hands, the two disliked each other too much for that, and so the ritual was broken that time.  
  
"We both deal with Malik and the one who handle's the other's light better wins." Bakura said going over the rules.  
  
Yami simply smiled or rather smirked knowing at Bakura who did the same.  
  
_"He has no idea what he's agreed to."_ They both thought.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Iteria:** That's all people. I just want to say that I love all of ya'll that reviewed and liked my story. Could you please that again? Pretty please. Also for all of you who like action, read Deathdealer by Ash the wanderer. It's good trust me. Well I'm out. I still have plenty of home work to finish. 


	3. Burger World pt 1

**Iteria:** Hey people I'm finally back. My computer is acting up again so I'll only be able to post at school. I would have had it up days ago, but the internet was down at school >_ **Malik:** Yea, yea. Iteria doesn't own Yu-gi-oh Kuzuki Takahashi does.  
**Iteria:** Amazingly enough my spell checker says nothing about Takahashi's last name. Enough with the randomness, On with the fic! Oh, and the pic that I refered to last chapter, but never posted the link can be found at:   
Thanks to Yami Meko I got and even more Kawaii picture of Malik. It's at this address:   


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yami and Bakura lounged in the living room. Yami was laid out on the couch and Bakura was reclining in a chair across the room from him. The two had a simple ceasefire in effect, as long as neither talked, there was peace. Although it was simplistic in nature is served its purpose, as neither yami wanted to wake the sleeping demons in the next room.  
  
Around noon footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. Yami sat up and peered out in Bakura's direction where he could see wild platinum blond hair in the distance. Yami paid Malik mild attention. He still wasn't particularly fond of him, and how much damage could he cause alone? Bakura was thinking along the same lines as Yami, but managed to spare a look as Malik, now a few inches taller, stood in front of him.   
  
"I'm hungry," He said abruptly, "Fix me something to eat."  
  
"Fix it yourself," Bakura snapped, shifting in the recliner to a more comfortable position.  
  
"He's eight." Yami said dryly from his position on the couch, not that anyone paid him any mind. As usual when Malik and Bakura entered a room everyone else was ignored. This rule applied no matter what the age difference between the two.  
  
Because of Isis and Rishid's constant pampering of him, Malik was spoiled as best and a terror usually. The word "no" had never even entered his vocabulary. Even his father never deprived of him anything. Needless to say he was not happy at a request of his being denied. "I'm the guest, so you have to feed me." Malik said haughtily.  
  
"Well, I'm the adult and I say no," Bakura stood up to emphasize the point. He was thoroughly enjoying his power over his half-grown partner in crime.  
  
Unfortunately for Bakura and to the amusement of Yami, who was a spectator in all this, Malik was in fact an Ishtar and a testy eight-year-old Ishtar at that. And so without warning Malik grabbed Bakura's long silvery hair and gave it a good tug.  
  
Yami was still on the other side of the room and that's where he intended to stay. He for one felt no pity for Bakura. Bakura had better reflexes that and could have easily avoided the situation had he not been being an idiot as usual. Yami who believed in mercy would stifle his laughter as Malik made his demands and lead him around by his hair. That was the least he could do, but he could hold no promises for other more embarrassing things later.  
  
Eventually Malik did release his death grip on Bakura's hair and Bakura started off towards the kitchen to attempt to cook something. Despite common belief Bakura was a yami of his word, rather forced or not.  
  
Malik collapsed onto the floor, his stomach growling. Yami got rid of all amusement in his voice and in a calm controlled voiced asked, "Are the others still asleep."  
  
Malik looked over to Yami startled. Apparently he hadn't noticed the spiky-haired yami before. "They're in the bedroom, playing some game, " Malik groaned and held his stomach as it growled again.  
  
Yami was going to ask Malik another question, but before he could Malik stumbled towards the kitchen holding his stomach as he went. Yami sighed annoyed and headed towards the guest bedroom. There he found Ryou and Yugi engaged in a game he had never seem before. Candyland it was called.  
  
Yami took a few seconds to ponder where Ryou and Yugi could have possibly gotten the board game along with the ones they had played a few hours back. Ryou was never a board game person or at least as a teenager he isn't. He prefers games such as Monster World. RPGs he thinks they were called. Utterly pointless in his opinion. What was the point of a game where the rules could change as a person willed them?  
  
Yami turned his attention back to the children who were finishing their game. Within a few moments Yugi had won and by the look on Ryou's face it wasn't the first time. Yami cleared his throat to alert the two of his presence.  
  
Ryou and Yugi jumped slightly, "Hey Yami." They said simultaneously.   
  
Yami nodded in response. He was glad they had called him by the right name. Yam-yam was beginning to wear on his nerves.  
  
He walked forward a bit. He hadn't really come into the room with any specific purpose as the two boys were expecting of him. "Are you hungry?" He asked remembering back to Malik and Bakura.   
  
Ryou and Yugi quickly jumped off the bed, forgetting to put their game up and tackled Yami who blocked their path, rushing towards the kitchen. Yami got up off the ground and slowly walked towards the kitchen. Maybe using food as a conversation beginner wasn't such good idea... Especially when dealing with little boys.   
Yami walked into the kitchen expecting that Ryou, Yugi, and Malik were sitting around the kitchen table and Bakura had put together something that was at least edible; good was too much to hope for. Unfortunately this was not the case. Bakura were fighting the blaze coming form the microwave. Malik was standing a little ways Bakura saying something that was irritating him by the looks of that throbbing vein on his forehead. Ryou and Yugi were well out of the way as neither one was tall enough to reach the sink facet and the chairs were too close to the microwave for either one of their comfort levels.   
  
All of this lay before Yami and registered one thought in his mind: Bakura's an idiot. Yami did the quickest thing he could to dispose of the burning appliance; he sent it to the shadowrealm. A black opened up and the fiery machine was sucked and the hole disappeared. Frankly it was amazing that out of frustration Bakura didn't think of this himself. He was never one to care about anyone's things, not even his own.  
  
In any event Bakura carry himself well, using one of his usual insulting lines towards Yami, "I didn't need your help Pharaoh."   
  
His of coarse could not go without Yami pointing out the obvious which he does so well in his round about ways, "Yes and the microwave lit itself on fire." He said then added for he knew what Bakura was going to say next, "I would be best if we go out to eat, since the kitchen seems to cause troubles for you tombrobber."  
  
Bakura grumbled having nothing to say and yays exploded from Ryou and Yugi's mouth while Malik stood confuse as to what "out to eat" meant, but chose to say nothing. If it was anything like candy, then he was sure he'd enjoy it.   
  
"So where do you guys want to go?" Yami questioned, for he knew the general direction of every fast-food restaurant in town. Yugi seemed to be addicted to burgers.  
  
"Burger World!" Yugi chirped and Ryou agreed. Malik didn't have an opinion so he agreed too.  
  
"All right Burger World," He said heading towards the door with the eight-year-olds in tow. Bakura grumbled something or another before placing his hands in his pockets and grudging setting out.  
  
They soon reached Burger World. Bakura was holding Yugi's hand and Yami was holding Ryou's and eventually Malik who kept wanting to wander into the street. They walked up to the entrance where they where greeted with a stereotypical, "Welcome to Burger World."  
  
"Yea, yea," Bakura said walking in not particularly liking the place, but then again what did he like?  
  
They took their seats, Ryou, Yami, and Malik one side and Bakura and Yugi on the other side. Bakura was again sickened by the bright colors and loving atmosphere. It was to such a point now that it was taking a great amount of energy on his part not to just hit Yugi across the head who was positively beaming happiness and making the whole experience exponentially worst for Bakura.  
  
Yami for one was fine with the situation, but he didn't think he'd be eating those deathtraps known as burgers. It always puzzled him how Yugi could eat something so repulsive, but he did love them.   
  
After a few minutes the waitress came up, "Welc- Yami?"  
  
Yami looked up. He had been previously staring transfixed on a game he had not yet seen before. It seemed the goal was to shoot the orange ball into the hoop as many times as possible before time ran out. "Tea?" He questioned, and then he remembered that Tea still worked at Burger World. "Oh, hello Tea." He greeted.  
  
"Yami what are you here? Where's Yugi?" She questioned then added upon closer look, "And since when did you baby sit?"  
  
Yami sighed. And thought out his what he would say as he himself didn't completely understand. "Tea, what happened was-"  
  
" The three children you see before you are Ryou, Malik, and Yugi. No, they will return to normal and no, I am not going to hurt them, you, or that Ra-forsaken Pharaoh." Bakura's very short temper had snapped again, and he cut Yami off.   
  
Tea was a bit taken back. She hadn't realized that that had been Bakura sitting there, but then it seemed only Yami, Yugi, and Malik could tell the difference. She cleared her throat obvious a sign of nervousness. "Well," she said, her voice within its normal range, "Do you guys want to order?" She asked glancing uneasily in Bakura's direction every few seconds. It wasn't that she didn't like Bakura, she made an effort to be on friendly terms with everyone, she just didn't feel safe with him around.  
  
Yami shrugged, "Ryou what do you want?" He asked showing the albino child the pictorial menu.   
  
Ryou was a bit flustered at first. He hadn't expected Yami to ask him anything. That was usually Bakura's job, "Um... that." He said unsurely pointing at a picture of some chicken nuggets.  
  
Tea nodded and scribbled down what Ryou had pointed too, "Yugi you want a kids choice number two without onions or tomatoes, right?" Yugi nodded excitedly while Yami looked on amazed "Yugi been eating at Burger World since he was five." Tea said at seeing Yami's face. "Now what is Mr. Ishtar having?" Tea said in a babyish tone and couldn't resist pinch Malik's face.  
  
Malik annoyedly pushed away Tea's hand and pointed at a caesar salad. Confused, Tea questioned Malik's order and recommended some things that small boys usually order, but Malik insisted upon a salad. "Are you sure?" She asked for like the billionth time, "You're you don't want this or this." She points towards some of the children's meals.  
  
"Yes he is sure." Bakura said, his temper had snapped again, but at least he wasn't yelling, "Apparently I am the only one here who knows Malik is a vegetarian."   
  
Tea's mouth formed an "o" and she quickly scribbled down the order and took her leave.  
  
"What's a vege... a vegetar... a vegetarian?" Malik asked and then beamed at saying such a large word.  
  
"It's what you are." Bakura say annoyed at having to answer the question, "People like you who don't eat meat." Bakura's eye's then became unfocused and a grin graced his face. Evidently, he was thinking back to one of the times he had eaten rare meat, which was good in his opinion, just to see the look on Malik's disgusted face.  
  
"Bakura.... Bakura.... Tombrobber!" Bakura broke from his trance. He frowned as he saw Yami standing there. "Let's go Tombrobber. They want to play on the playground."  
  
"I thought they were eating?" Bakura growled.  
  
"The playground is in here." Yami replied.  
  
"What's that got to do with me?"  
  
"Everything. Remember our bet. Week is a long time." Yami grabbed Bakura and dragged him off towards the door marked as the indoor playground.  
  
The two yamis opened the door and were blasted with sound from kids screaming and noisemakers won from the prize stand and from the games themselves. The place itself was huge with every thing a kid could want to play with; there was even a laser tag to the right. Burger World was certainly a wealthy company if nothing else.  
  
"Malik's in the ball pit," Yami yelled to Bakura and pointed to Malik, who was hitting kids upside the head with plastic balls, "I'm going to go look for Ryou. You go looked for Ryou." Bakura mumbled something and set off leaving Yami to his own devices.  
  
Yami walked about the playroom looking for the albino child known as Ryou. He had given up on calling for him when he noticed that it would be impossible for Ryou to hear him what with all the noise. He walked around the outskirts of the room with no luck. He then sighed knowing his last option.   
  
He walked up to the entrance of what looked like a labyrinth, a colorful one at that. Ryou could have very well gone in and gotten hopeless lost. The labyrinth, for lack of a better word, was several levels high, riddled with obstacles, contain various pits and chances to fall, and was overall dangerous in Yami's eyes. What in the world possessed small children to risk their lives going in? He pondered this for a bit before he started forward where he was instantly stopped.  
  
"Ahem, excuse me sir, but I'm afraid I can't let you pass," said a pale woman whose voice was unnervingly soft and perky, not to mention that smile of hers which seemed completely unnatural and went nicely with her disturbing voice.  
  
"And why is that?" he asked, confused when he saw an slinky man enter with no problem.  
  
"You'll have to remove your shoes and socks first," She said matter-of-factly, "They're not allowed." She added and motioned toward the rather large and neon colored sign stating what the unsettling woman had said.  
  
Yami cleared his throat which was his equivalent to smiling and blushing sheepishly. He walked over to the nearest bench and unsnapped the straps on his pants that went around his black boots and gave the illusion that that his pants and shoes were on and the same. he then went the process of removing his shoes and socks.  
  
**  
  
On the other side of the room, Bakura was becoming deeply annoyed. Public places didn't agree with him and he made an effort to avoid them whenever possible. He would have to find Yugi soon or he couldn't guarantee the safety of everyone in the room. It had been ten minutes more than enough playtime.   
  
He kept searching, becoming more and more agitated as time wore on. First, at all the children about him. They were sickening with their carefree nature and sticky candy covered mouths. And then at the fact that he hadn't seem hide nor hair of Yugi. Exactly how hard was it to find a kid who had a rainbow in his hair?   
  
He kept looking about, "accidentally" knocking down few snotty-nosed brats as he did. Bakura spied Yami entering whatever the thing in the middle of the room. It hadn't occurred to him that you could actually enter it. He had thought it some type of decoration.  
  
Seeing his problem solved, for surely into that thing was where Yugi lay, he started off towards the nearest entrance. He was stopped by one of the attendants, not that he cared. He waltzed passed the attendant who went from eerily nice to highly upset in under ten seconds. Again Bakura could care less and continued on.   
  
Soon he came to a tunnel and he could no longer stand and had to resort to crawling on all fours, not that this bothered Bakura at all. He was, after all, the infamous tombrobber who ravaged over a thousand tombs, kings, priests and commoners alike.  
  
This, however; could not said for Yami who was two stages above Bakura. He was being bombarded with slinging punching bags by five ten-year-olds. After a while he had gotten to the point where you could dodge them and he was steadily getting closer to the children. Frightened, in one last ditch effort they sent all of the large red punching bags towards Yami at once. Yami couldn't dodge them all at once and was sent tumbling backwards where he fell as he was unable to grab the monkey bars.  
  
He fell into the safety net that was constructed to catch those who didn't have the upper body strength to make it across. Yami sat up and was greeted with shrill cackling.  
  
"Clumsy, clumsy." Bakura said above Yami before starting another round of laughter.  
  
Yami glared at Bakura and gauchely fought his way to side opposite Bakura. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten to him.  
  
Bakura for one didn't care what Yami thought. He just needed something to harass. "Too bad that net was there." He half shouted to Yami, " I would have loved you see you land right on your royal head." He cackled once more and then continued on his merry way.  
  
Yami growled, which was completely unlike him and continued to crawl through the tunnel maze in search the elusive silver hair. He did this all the while blowing annoying strands of hair out of his face and thinking one thing: It's going to be a long day.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
~Review answers~  
  
**A.K.A. Talentless:** I love your name I wish I would have come up with something that creative. I don't thin I'll use a BETA reader for this one. Otherwise it would never be posted, but I'd love to have you as one for my next fic that I'm thinking about writing. lucky you you don't go to school until September, but I get out in May so ha! o.O... I have a writing syle? I didn't know that... I like Bakura, so he's better written than Yami. Plus Yami has very random emotions in the anime so it hard for me write how he'd be in a demestic situation.  
**yami angel1:** I agree.  
**the psychotic mage:** I know... So Kawaii!  
  
**Iteria:** That's it for this time peeps. If you guys have any suggestions as to how I can torture Yami and Bakura anymore feel free to tell me. I'm always open to suggestions, even bad ones. See ya!  



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